Year in Review

“Everyone has a plan ‘till they get punched in the mouth.”

— Mike Tyson

Despite the fact that this month is a whirlwind for many people, most of us are still managing to find odd moments to judge ourselves against the hopes and goals we had for ourselves in 2016.  We may feel good about our achievements, but we’re also quite likely to be dealing with disappointment about where we may have missed out on things we wanted very much.  No matter how good life is, some part of us is aware of the ways in which things could be better, and it prowls the corners of the mind resenting this gap and grumbling about the injustice of it.

Perhaps now is a good time to actually tune into that voice and see what it has to say.  Periodically assessing where you are is an important part of continually moving forward, and the voice of discontent can be valuable.  Taking a few quiet moments to write down how 2016 went for you personally can help orient you as you naturally begin to think about the approach of 2017.  Much of this past year, you were likely doing the best you could.  If you weren’t, the constructive thing is not to berate yourself, but to gain understanding about why.  Ask yourself:  Where do you feel you got stuck this year?  What are you disappointed and frustrated about that maybe you’ve been avoiding admitting?  Stuffing down these feelings won’t help you resolve anything emotionally, and it also won’t support your learning and growth going forward. What would you do over if you could and why?  How would you like to be able to handle a situation like this in the future if it comes up again?  And what skills will you need to work on in order to become the kind of person who can easily handle it that way?

Doing this before you get drawn into the annual storm of New Year’s resolutions peer pressure will reveal the desires that are most important to you.  If you must resolve to change something, let it be supportive of your movement toward the goals that are authentic to you.  If you are having trouble figuring out why something is so hard for you, it might be time to call in an expert or a trusted friend for a perspective check.  You might need to get a little creative about working with your subconscious to clear out problems that have been dogging you (Tapping, NLP, and hypnosis are great ways to address this kind of issue, and there are plenty of others.)  Even though recurring patterns can be extremely galling, know that you can make progress on these if you are willing to keep working on them and trying things until you find something that works for you.  Everyone gets exhausted sometimes.  When you do, it’s ok to step back, renew yourself, and then get back to it.

So, give yourself a break already.  Nothing in life ever goes exactly according to plan.  That’s the nature of the human experience.  Enjoy any holidays you celebrate this month with zest, and celebrate what went right for you this year with every fiber of your being.  In fact, that would be a helpful resolution for 2017—I will celebrate everything that goes right!  I will acknowledge something that brought me joy at the end of every day, and celebrate the happiness of others as well!  If you acknowledge where you are discontent, and then keeping moving back toward focus on what’s working, it will be easier to keep yourself feeling happy and enthusiastic throughout the new year.  If you can do that, all your hopes and dreams become more possible.