Festivity and Fatigue

“I like to compare the holiday season with the way a child listens to a favorite story. The pleasure is in the familiar way the story begins, the anticipation of familiar turns it takes, the familiar moments of suspense, and the familiar climax and ending.”

— Fred Rogers

Now that the Thanksgiving holiday has passed, I’m sure you’ve noticed a ramp-up of epic proportions in the advertising messages coming at you from all directions.  A month of wild merchandizing is upon us!  For those of us who celebrate religious holidays in the next month or so, some of these may have their utility as we look for a few nice gift ideas; for others, this will be just so much annoying noise and chatter.  Even if you are planning on shopping, the sheer volume of the onslaught, both figuratively and literally, is likely beyond what you would prefer.  Time to take some compensatory measures!

According to traditional cultures around the world, we in the Northern Hemisphere are entering the season of darkness.  This is a time to dream, rest and renew, and envision next year’s harvest in silence before the light returns—and with it, another cycle of increased activity.  Our ancestors slept and rested more at this time of year, and our bodies still remember this rhythm despite the dawning of electric light, and now, the reality of constant connectivity.  It’s normal to want to slow down now to conserve energy, eat heavier foods to survive the colder months, and in the language of Traditional Chinese Medicine, build yin; yin is the weight and substance that grounds active energy and keeps us from burning out.  It’s the physical and energetic reserves we build up over time so that periods of higher activity don’t drain us to the bone.  Yet in modern life, taking this time is often seen as silly, unnecessary, or self-indulgent.  This couldn’t be farther from the truth.

The modern-day mindset teaches us that everything can be solved with the mind, and yet, in my experience, that just isn’t the case.  For example, sometimes body issues need to be addressed at the level of the body.  No amount of thinking about exercising can produce all of the results of actually exercising.  Physiological changes can happen in meditative states, but these are states that bring the mind, body, and spirit into closer cooperation.  The mind alone, spinning in isolation, does not create the same traction.

If you are feeling the call to find more quiet, more rest, more time alone, or deeper sleep, know that this is not a failing.  It doesn’t make you weak or lazy.  It makes you someone who is able to mark the changing of the seasons and experience the gifts inherent in each.  Holiday time can be a happy celebration of this darker, slower time of year if we can allow ourselves to be more fully present with our friends and family when we come together.  We can choose more relaxing shared activities instead of overscheduling ourselves into oblivion. We can take this time to focus more on the satisfying fullness of time spent on simple things like the preparation and enjoyment of good, healthy meals shared with pleasant company.  If we do this consciously, we can enter a new year with a growing sense of enthusiasm for what the new cycle of endeavor will bring, rather than an ever-increasing sense of fatigue and overwhelm.

In the next month, as the advertising blitz reaches its blaring heights, remember that you don’t owe your attention to anything you do not value.  Everyone may want your attention right now, but when motives are impersonal and selfish, or irrelevant to you, you need not give it.  You can decide what your priorities are, and then focus on those despite the cacophony of distractions.  That’s how you end up living your own life rather than being pulled to pieces by competing forces.

Here are a few recommendations for staying on track:

·      Actually write out your intentions for the coming weeks.  What on your to do list is an expression of something that’s truly important to you?  Who do you want to be every day as you go about your life? 

·      Read these when you get up in the morning and before bed to help you stay focused.  Think about any ways in which you could do better tomorrow.  Only you get to add something to these lists, and only when the timing is right

·      Be selective and practice saying no to activities and events that you know would overschedule you.  Actively protect your breathing room.  This also sets a good example for everyone around you, showing them that no one dies if you don’t attend absolutely every possible seasonal event, as we all need to create the balance that is healthy for us

·      Remember that resting, recharging, and playing are things you have “accomplished,” elements of living that are necessary and good for us.  Give yourself credit for including these and bucking the tides of manic activity that can spiral well-intentioned people into exhaustion and irritability

·      Keep redirecting your attention to the enjoyment of the moment, the operative word being joy.  Find the joy you can give and experience even when times are hectic by connecting authentically with fellow human beings, even in small, passing moments.  These connections are often what we most crave, and what make us feel most fulfilled in retrospect

Keep breathing.  Keep refocusing on what’s really important to you and who you want to be.  You are the captain of your ship, so go ahead and steer it.  Don’t waste the opportunities today offers to be who you choose to be.

I wish you joy and fulfillment in the coming weeks no matter what you may or may not celebrate, and no matter where your adventures may take you.  I hope you create happy memories and progress toward your intentions no matter how busy your season.  Rest, celebrate, give, and have fun!

Yes to Summer

“If a man insisted always on being serious, and never allowed himself a bit of fun and relaxation, he would go mad or become unstable without knowing it.”

— Herodotus

Temperatures are rising in this northern hemisphere that I call home as we near the official beginning of summer.  A sun so insistently hot calls us to take things a little more slowly, hang loose a little more often, enjoy the simple pleasures of wearing bathing suits and sandals and eating outdoors.  For many of us, this wakes up the awareness of our physicality and brings us further into the immediacy of the moment.  We find it easier to remember to play, maybe because of the associations with summer vacations past, or maybe just because there’s so much to enjoy in this season of lazy, easy sociability.  It’s harder to be in a bad mood when there’s so much sunlight and your neighbors are kicking up their heels.

All throughout the cooler, darker months we’ve been working hard and likely resting more.  When nights are long, there’s a pull to go inward, hibernate and rest up in anticipation of higher-energy months.  Now it’s finally time to balance work with enjoyment and celebrate what we’ve created in the dark.  It may now feel more like time to share what we’ve been working on as we continue to move it forward.  Sometimes it’s hard to strike the right balance here—there’s still a lot to do (isn’t there always?) and we want to get to the goal.  It can be hard to allow what’s going on around us to pull us away from responsibility and discipline.  But if we don’t take the time to be a part of the rites of summer, we’ll be disappointed later that we missed out on this sensual season.

If you’re the type who has trouble getting motivated, know that even those who have cracked the code on productivity need to balance out effort with social events and activities that recharge their enthusiasm for life.  I’m not suggesting that you use summer as an excuse to get nothing done for months at a time, but staying in the game over time and living your passion require taking breaks.  The willingness to partake of the joys on offer in every season will connect you with the life that is unfolding all around you.  It helps you to participate zestfully in the passage of time rather than resist it and bemoan time’s scarcity.  It helps you to share unique moments with others that you could never have predicted.

I encourage you to let in the sun during these months.  You know that feeling of baking for hours on the beach, and how the sun’s rays warm you deep into your skin?  How that plus the timeless rhythm of the surf drowns out some of the thoughts and concerns you might have on a routine day?  Go out there and find ways to revel in some summer lounging, indulgence in a guilty pleasure of a novel, or other indolence as long as it’s relaxing.  Feel free to also enjoy outdoor activities as long as there’s playfulness involved.  Splurge on summer fruits that have a short season.  Drink lemonade.  Nap in hammocks with the sound of wind chimes tinkling in your ears.  And give yourself credit for all that you do for yourself and your family and the world on all the days when you’re not indulging like this.  Motivation is wonderful.  Contentment is good for us too.