Who Do You Need to Become?

“There are plenty of difficult obstacles in your path. Don’t allow yourself to become one of them.”

— Ralph Marston

We all want opportunities. If you haven't defined goals for yourself, you might not be entirely clear on what the opportunities you'd most enjoy would look like, but I'm sure that there are certain kinds of offers that would delight you if they just showed up at your door. Once you have addressed clarification of the goals that most appeal to you, it makes sense to start cultivating a state of readiness for those perfect opportunities. After all, you can have all the opportunity in the world, but if you don't have the confidence and the skills to accept gracefully and follow through with competence, you're not likely to enjoy the kind of experience you crave.

Let's take a look at one of your goals. If someone offered you a chance at exactly what you want today, you would no doubt be excited. If you close your eyes and imagine this scenario with vividness, though, chances are you'll also come up with some misgivings as well.  Those might be something like, "I'm not ready," or "People will find out I'm a fraud," or "What if everyone says I'm terrible at this?"  This is a quick way of finding out what holds you back from taking appropriate action to prepare yourself for success, as well as of showing you reasons why you might be likely to sabotage yourself if and when the goal looks like it's getting too close.

Once you've spent a little quality time digging into this exercise, you can now make some choices about how to proceed. For instance, if you thought, "I'm not ready," now it's time to write out all the reasons why you're not. Really indulge here. We want to get all parts of you on board with moving forward toward that goal, so we really want to know all of the objections you're holding into. Who would you need to become physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually in order to rock those opportunities you want when they show up?  Make this as clear a picture as you can, listing all the positive qualities you need to build in yourself in order to be ready—the opposite of what you currently worry that you are.  

Once you have that list of positive qualities, it's time to work on one or two so that you're building your readiness for your ideal future.  Sometimes you'll need to find yourself some appropriate education and a way to start building experience in a certain area. Sometimes you'll need help healing the effects of past experiences in some way. In any case, it usually helps to find some other people who can support you as you build your competence and confidence. Maybe you could really use a work partner, who will be working on their own goals and with whom you meet to share process and mutual encouragement. Maybe you just need a few people who can listen to your latest developments and cheer you on. Maybe you need professional consultation in some area. Whatever you decide, make sure that the people you choose to join your support system are positive and genuinely want you to succeed. Even a professional should help you to feel positive about yourself and the progress you're making; if they don't, perhaps they're not the right fit for you. There are also plenty of groups you can join if you're not sure you can find any of these in your current life.  

As you work on growing into new, positive qualities, you'll also want to consider this:  What are all the reasons why you haven't become that person you want to be, and why you may not be able to?  The answer to this is also golden as far as its ability to help you address factors that can trip you up.  If you don't address the things that surface in this category, your progress will be much more difficult than it needs to be.  The best way I know of to handle these worries and objections is through the use of EFT, which is incredibly effective at addressing mental and emotional resistance to progress.  I highly recommend that you learn the basics at least and get comfortable with them.  If any of this stuff is really dogging you, consider making a larger investment of time and energy in this work.  The payoff can be disproportionately huge.

It may also help you to take inventory of whether you tend to overprepare or underprepare. If you're not sure, ask your friends and coworkers, who will probably have some perspective to offer on this. Either way, you may need to circumvent your tendency when it comes to how to choose when to move on to a new aspect of work. Some people tend to admit their own progress very slowly and cautiously. Others habitually underestimate the preparation they'll need to perform with excellence when the chips are down. Either way, it's a good idea to check in periodically with someone who has expertise in your subject area to help you gauge realistically how you're doing in preparing for your specific goals. This will keep you moving forward at a reasonable rate without rushing past important milestones or getting stuck in endless contemplation of detail.

Because you will always be able to think of new goals as soon as you reach your current ones, this is a process that never ceases unless you want to become stale. Therefore, it's important to find ways to enjoy this constant learning process as well as the euphoria of reaching your goals. You can be both peaceful and content with the blessings you currently have, and fired up about the exciting future you're working toward. I encourage you to keep yourself tuned into the balance of these that you're creating for the most satisfying possible life. What can you appreciate, and what can you learn this week?  If you keep doing both, you'll keep making progress, and fueling your enthusiasm and energy so you can keep going, always improving your life and your enjoyment of it.

Ready...Set...

“Observe due measure, for right timing is in all things the most important factor.”

— Hesiod

Have you ever had a good idea, rushed to implement it, and found that somehow it fell flat for reasons you didn’t understand?  This can happen for many reasons, of course, including unforeseen issues arising at the last minute.  However, this week we’ll focus on a factor I don’t often hear discussed that can be hugely important—timing.  There are several different components to timing I want to touch on that I think are helpful considerations when planning toward a goal.  If you at least think through these before taking action, in my experience, you have better chances of success in your final product, whether you’re planning the launch of a book or other product, taking a vacation, or planning a party.

·      Time needed to complete your proposed task list.  Every task should be given as realistic a time frame for completion as it’s possible to estimate.  If you’ve never done something like this before, it’s crucial that you consult someone who has.  Otherwise, your guess could be drastically off and endanger the completion of your project if there are dependencies involved—in other words, things that need to be done before, during, or after that task that depend on it.  It’s always surprising to me how many people don’t bother to even attempt to think through how much work is involved in any project or step in one, and so much can go wrong when you don’t.

·      Preparation.  What needs to happen before you can begin?  Do you need to find other team members or brush up on some skills of your own before you set the wheels in motion?  Are there fears or other resistance you’re feeling that it would be better to deal with before you get started so they don’t wreak havoc on your project once it’s in motion?

·      Context.  This is a tough one because the factors you could consider may be practically infinite depending on your project, but you should do the very best you can with what you have.  What is going on in your life and in the lives of others who will participate in or be the consumers of your project? Is someone on your team getting married this year?  What holidays, religious and secular, will fall within important periods of your project?  (There are some excellent calendars online that include a wide variety of religious holidays.)  What time of year will the project end—in January, when many are trying to turn over a new leaf with New Year’s resolutions, or during the height of summer vacation season?  What are people generally interested in or concerned about at that time?  Is there a political cycle you need to consider or other projects you need to work around?  What’s trendy and cool right now, and how does your project relate to that—for instance is there a popular festival in your vacation destination that you’d like to participate in or avoid?  This is a broad area that deserves research and brainstorming with others so you can turn up as many factors for consideration as possible and wisely choose your end date.

·      Contingencies.  What would you do if you had some bad luck, causing delays, at any point in the project?  If the end date got delayed, what would happen, and is there a time when you’d be better able to deal with this?  Is there a step in the process that absolutely can’t move?

·      Preference.  When would you rather be working on the project and when would you prefer that it be finished?  If it works to do that, go ahead so as to best preserve your enthusiasm and enjoyment of the experience.

·      Cost.  Is there a time when doing what’s necessary will cost you less, or when the end product can earn you greater benefits?

·      Intuition.  This is a wild card category, but considering it can bring important factors to your attention.  Putting aside what’s logical, is there any timing that just feels particularly right or wrong to you?  You can choose to think of this as your subconscious mind indicating knowledge you have that your conscious mind doesn’t remember.  If you have an established relationship with your intuition, you may also know this as a place of intersection with the spiritual part of yourself.  Consult your own and ask others to consult theirs and just see what you come up with. 

·      Summation.  When you put all of these together, does any particular timing become the clear winner?  If not, don’t be afraid to talk it out with someone you trust to be supportive and to have good ideas when they hear about your choices.  Maybe several people.  If nothing stands out, sometimes you have to just pick a choice and go.  That’s fine, and you probably learned some helpful things in going through this process.  Who knows when they’ll come in handy along the way.

If you take the time to look at all of these factors before taking on your next project, you’ll be able to feel more confident that you’ve avoided some pitfalls and chosen the best timing for your efforts.  Nothing ever goes perfectly as planned, but when you do your best to strategize intelligently in your initial choices, you’ll have removed every roadblock you could, and that’s better than the alternative!  You’ll learn through experience what you might have missed, but at least you won’t be kicking yourself for not trying.