So Much Happier Blog
Taking the Leap
“Everything has seasons, and we have to be able to recognize when something’s time has passed and be able to move into the next season. Everything that is alive requires pruning as well, which is a great metaphor for endings.”
Sometimes, your only job in a situation is to let go and allow a thing to exit your life. Depending on the circumstances, actually accomplishing this can be one of the hardest things you’ll ever do. There can be numerous reasons why we struggle with letting go, and it’s worth taking a look at them, because shining a light on the resistance usually helps us to find some clarity about what we’re doing and why. Once we have clarity, it’s easier to see what we need to do, and commit to doing it. When the task makes sense, we tend to feel better about taking action.
Here are the most common reasons we resist letting go of something (or someone):
Fear. If this is the best we’ve had yet, wouldn’t we be crazy to let it go? What if it’s our last chance? What if never find something this good again, let alone better? What if this was a fluke, a once-in-a-lifetime chance? This is fear talking. While it’s true that change is one of life’s only constants, and nothing will ever be exactly the same as this opportunity, just think about this for a minute. If you’re reading this, you live on a planet that is home to roughly seven and a half billion people, every one of those unique. Each of them wants roughly the same thing—safety, love, understanding, acceptance, validation. Each of them is constantly having new ideas about how they can be most successful at, and have the most fun in the process of, getting those things. Doesn’t it make sense that there are a lot of other people out there who want to go about those things in ways that you would appreciate? Let’s recall that seven and a half billion is a LOT of people. Some of those people you’d really like have available jobs to offer or recommend, they have hobbies, they want to be in relationships, they want to find ways to make the world a better place. When you’re holding on tightly, desperately, to something that isn’t right for you, you’re not out there finding your people where they are right now.
Deserving. On some level, not always immediately conscious, you may think you still need to “fix,” understand, or resolve something about your situation before it’s ok to let it go. Now, sometimes that’s a great idea. Feeling complete with a situation before you move on is a beautiful thing, and sometimes with a little thought and consideration, you can gain skills and wins for everyone involved. Honestly, though, in my experience, this is rare. Often we hope for concurrence from and peace with all parties involved in a situation, and getting to this may not be possible, because the only person you’re in control of is you. It takes two (or more) to tango, and to make peace holistically with a situation. Sometimes the best thing for everyone is for you to exit despite collective discomfort. In this case, you can be as clear and loving with your behavior as possible while still staying firm about your intentions, and then vote with your feet. The rest is not up to you. As far as the understanding piece, understanding and wisdom accrue in layers. Don’t you find that your understanding of situations from your past is exponentially more dimensional now because of the life experience you’ve amassed since then? This process will continue throughout your life. If there’s some key information you feel you need in order to make a good decision, fine, but you’re never going to resolve every possible loose end before it’s time for a change. And you deserve to make the best possible decision for yourself. Everyone does as long as they are not hurting others or violating their basic human rights—that’s what the concept of free will (balanced with a few moral considerations) is all about.
Disappointment. We tend to resist processing the reality that things we wanted did not materialize in the way we hoped, because if we really let that sink in, we’d have to feel the resulting sadness and loss, and then reimagine the future. It can be exhausting to go through all of this. On the other hand, it’s also exhausting to repress these feelings, we’re just not trained to notice this kind of energy drain and appreciate how it is aggregating over time! The answer is to learn tools that can assist you with breaking your discomfort into manageable chunks and handle releasing it in an appropriate manner. Enter EFT! This is my absolute favorite tool for the job. Not only does it help you get the job done efficiently, but it can also make the process more enjoyable and empowering than you might think. It can also facilitate better creative problem solving and faster leaps to new insights.
Beliefs. Whether consciously or unconsciously, we tend to encapsulate what we learn from a situation as a belief or two that we will hold as guiding principle going forward. If the new or reinforced beliefs are positive, as in, “I can and do choose to be in relationships only with people who are kind,” this is helpful to our development. If they’re limiting, as in, “People are jerks when you really get to know them,” we can wind up having big problems with trust, building new relationships, and having a social life that feels supportive. Often, these beliefs sneak by our conscious minds such that we don’t even realize that we could change our experience by rewriting them. Affirmations and mindfulness are excellent tools for working with mental habits and beliefs, but to address the deep emotional reasons why you formed those deep beliefs in the first place, we need tools for interacting with the subconscious, like Tapping, hypnosis, or NLP.
Real change takes work, but in my world, it’s always worth it! When you’re willing to do the work of becoming aware of, and releasing, the internal clutter produced by past events, the return is clarity, relief, increased energy, and greater wisdom. You may still need to go through various steps in transforming your relationships to the past, the present, and people (because no one’s development is ever complete), but you’ll be able to get unstuck and see more clearly along the way. Once you’ve handled your resistance to allowing positive change to happen, greater possibilities open up for you, and life stays fresh and interesting.
What If I Can't Do It?
“A hero is someone who, in spite of weakness, doubt or not always knowing the answers, goes ahead and overcomes anyway.”
As we approach the last week of January, I bet you’ve noticed some (possibly pretty serious) resistance to continuing your actions toward your New Year’s resolutions or general 2019 goals. I wanted to chime in at this point and remind you that this is completely normal, and that no one who accomplishes anything requiring sustained effort is always certain that they will prevail. Uncertainty assails us all as we reach for more than we’ve accomplished in the past; only when we’ve proven that we can do something, usually repeatedly, does confidence really start to root. Those who succeed find a way to cope with the worry, uncertainty, and doubt and keep moving and adjusting, failing all the way forward if necessary.
While you may be able to hold onto your enthusiasm for a new project in the short run despite difficulties, as weeks and months wear on, it will be challenged. Below are some strategies for handling the inevitable . I hope they help you to envision how you will work through tougher times, but know that the possibilities are endless, and a chief part of your job as CEO of your life and your mission is to expand this list and figure out which strategies really hit the bullseye of what you need in the midst of challenge.
Have a statement of what you’re working toward and why, and read it multiple times per day. Be descriptive and really write out everything you expect to have and feel when you’ve accomplished your goal. When you read this, you should feel inspired and as though your mission is a wonderful expression of who you are. When you read it, do not give in to negative, detracting thoughts, but just remind yourself why you started this process and why you still want the goal
When something comes up that tempts you to just run screaming and give up, remind yourself that it’s ok and part of being human to get frustrated
Be prepared to tinker your way to new solutions that may be unique to you
On the other hand, be willing to learn from others who have covered similar ground, or parts of it—you never have to do anything without the benefit of wisdom from others, even if it’s just in the form of reading books on a topic somewhere in the realm of what you’re working on, or looking up how-to’s on technical instruction online
Practice taking care of yourself when the tough times rear their ugly heads. What really works for you when you’re feeling overwhelmed and disheartened?
Naps?
Baths?
Cooking a beautiful and at least partly healthy meal that you and others around you can enjoy?
Spending time with certain positive, loving, accepting people or pets who help you to feel seen for who you are at your core?
Spending some time on a creative, fun hobby that brings you joy?
Inspiring music or other forms of art that remind you of the better things about humanity, and who you are and wish to be?
Moving your body in ways you enjoy?
Hikes or walks in natural surroundings to get you outside in the air and sun?
Getting a massage or some acupuncture or visiting some other kind of professional healer-type person?
Talking out issues with a friend or therapist?
Finding a support group for whatever you might be experiencing?
Teaming up with someone else who may need help and support as they work on goals as well, or with a coach who can assist you with your process?
Finding ways to laugh more and bring some hilarity into your life (just not at yourself in a derogatory way, though)
Just trying something, anything, new in your leisure time to get out of a rut
Addressing your emotions specifically, with Tapping or something else that helps you express and move past difficult feelings and get back to creativity
Planning treats into your regular routine that don’t contradict your goals so you always have something to look forward to
Etc.!
It’s easy to think up ways in which you’d like to succeed, but often much harder to actually bring these to fruition. I hope you have an enjoyable time in reaching your goals this year, but if you struggle at any point, there’s absolutely nothing unusual about that, and it doesn’t mean you can’t get to the results you want. It just means you need to be crafty as you go up against your challenges and keep getting better at something related to your goals every week. The self-renewal piece absolutely counts, because it’s what will help you to sustain your resilience when everything seems like too much.
And now I’m taking my own advice and going to get ready to see a fantastic improv group in LA that made me and my companions laugh really hard last time we went. I’ve worked really hard this week and I deserve some downtime! What do you need at this moment, or what would be most helpful? That’s your job to figure out as you take action, receive feedback from the world, and regroup to surge forward again. No matter what you’re up against, you can find ways to keep moving toward your worthy goals in ever smarter and more effective ways. Striving toward things that are meaningful to you is part of what makes life worth it, so keep modifying your techniques and even your goals if you must, but don’t give up!
The Moment of Truth
“In order to carry a positive action we must develop here a positive vision.”
The last installment in this series about changing a negative belief has arrived! This week, we'll look at the role of taking new actions in order to solidify your new beliefs. Notice that this is the last step in the process I'm recommending, and that is purposeful; you may also note that it bucks the trend of the most commonly spouted advice about feeling fear and resistance and just "powering through it," "walking it off," and acting anyway. While that can be helpful advice when you've already done your internal preparations and are beginning your foray into the realm of the new, taking it on to the exclusion of doing your internal work can be downright dangerous. If you take such a harsh, dismissive view toward the parts of yourself that are not yet on board with your choices, you are likely to treat others with similar harshness and arrogance. In case you haven't noticed, our world doesn't need a whole lot more of these right now. How about a more responsible approach?
Once you've made progress on your old belief through your mental, emotional, and spiritual attachments to the old, and you're feeling pretty good about what seems possible to you now, it's time to decide on some small actions you can take to affirm all the good work you've done and take steps toward your goals. These should be items you know you can do, even if they challenge you a little. Then, you're going to choose one to do first. Now that you've decided, are you totally comfortable starting it now? Take a moment to imagine that you're about to begin, or even go ahead and pick up the phone or otherwise act like you're going to do it immediately. At this point, you may start to notice resistance, fear, anxiety, or negative thoughts arising. This is actually a good thing, because it clarifies what is likely to trip you up as you work. You can be happier and more productive if you Tap for each of the emotions, sensations, and thought patterns that you've noticed before you really hit those tasks.
If one of your thoughts was, "I can't do it...I'm just not good at this," that probably brings up a bunch of emotions about times when you think you failed in the past as well as fear in the present. First, you might Tap for the fear you feel about taking action. Then, when that's calmer, you might work on past memory that means failure to you, and how you felt about it at the time, as well as how you still feel about it now. Keep doing this until the idea of taking action now is the first step in a learning process. When it feels like everything you think of yourself is riding on the outcome of every little task, you won't keep going if something goes wrong. If, however, you can get to an understanding that even something that seems like a disaster need not stop you indefinitely because it's just another opportunity for learning, then you will be very hard to keep down. That's what I want for you, and Tapping can help you to get there naturally so that your new belief seems logical and stable.
When you take the time to work with your reactions rather than trying to stuff them down and discount their value, you build a calmer life for yourself while continuing to learn about what motivates and what stops you from being your best self every day. You may not be able to completely remove all of your discomfort, but you can gain a lot of relief with Tapping, even if the same things continue to come up as you take action toward your goals and you need daily maintenance for a while. Some new patterns take time and practice to stabilize. While change usually takes longer than we want it to, knowing that you have the power to feel better in just a few minutes of Tapping is empowering. The rest is just rinse and repeat! You have all the basics of how to change outmoded beliefs at your disposal. So now that you're unstoppable, what will you do to wield your powers for good?
A Case of the Blahs
“I love to listen to the music that first inspired me - I get that fresh feeling back.”
There are times in which, even when things are going well, and despite all our best efforts, we are going to feel just…uninspired. There are so many factors that go into creating our experience of each day that we can often be surprised by how things seem to display, at any given moment, a natural tendency to come together—or not. It’s impossible to predict the daily outcome of the interaction of all things that affect us; that is just how things are on planet Earth, and it certainly keeps life interesting! It can also be pretty frustrating, say when you’ve got a certain amount of time allotted for something and then the unexpected happens and gets in the way. If this happens several times in a row, it can really disrupt your momentum. Or if you’ve been down with a cold, sometimes it takes longer than you want it to for you to get back up to speed and feel your enthusiasm for life returning. For whatever reason, there are those days when you just don’t feel like doing anything at all.
What to do when you feel this way? Depending on what your day looks like, you may have more or less latitude to change up your plans on the fly. Here are some thoughts on what to try the next time you get blindsided by a case of the “I don’t wanna, you can’t make me’s.”
· Allow yourself a moment to take a couple of breaths and acknowledge what’s happening. Most of us have been taught to just push through any emotion or preference that arises unexpectedly, but over time, this habit gets us into trouble. The more we repress what’s really going on internally, the more we resent the responsibilities, and sometimes the people, in our lives. We also add a potent risk factor for actual physical illness and disease. If you just get into the habit of letting yourself be aware of how you feel, you can take it into account in some way that you decide is appropriate. Sometimes just acknowledging it and the validity of your right to feel normal human emotions is enough to improve your outlook. Sometimes taking action of some sort will also be well advised
· Think for a moment about what you absolutely need to get done today. There are commitments that are not optional—for instance, the kids and the dog need to be fed. But other items on the list might be nice to have, but not really necessary, if you’re being totally honest with yourself
· If you decide that some task(s) can move to a different day, what would you like to do instead? Sometimes what you need is a break, some breathing room to do not much of anything, some time to regroup. But maybe there’s something that needs doing that would be more fun for you than what you had originally planned. One excellent secret of greater productivity is being able to swap tasks around to harness your enthusiasm at any given time. Sure, there are some tasks you’re probably never going to want to do, and sometimes you’ll have to just do them anyway. But there are days when cleaning and organizing/filing, for instance, might seem kind of fun, and there are times when it’s going to seem like cruel and unusual punishment. How can you roll with that?
· Sometimes the best thing to “do” is something that will boost you overall state of inspiration. What are your very favorite things to do, things you would do nearly every day if you had all the time in the world? Watch movies? Go to concerts? Play silly games with family members? Have a three-hour lunch with a close friend you could talk to forever? Go play a sport that makes you forget everything else for a while? Read a book by your favorite author? Whatever it is, it can be amazing how rejuvenated you can feel after a little time spent in this pursuit. Allowing yourself this time can energize your entire week
· What signals are you getting from your body? Does it need care that you’ve been procrastinating on? If you haven’t been drinking water, moving your body, or getting decent nutrition lately, ending up in a funk of some sort is a pretty likely outcome. Sometimes we pretend we can ignore the body’s needs. Zoolander-esque news flash: We can’t.
· Change your perspective by thinking about what’s going well in your life and what you’re grateful for. This can be as simple as the sun rising each day, or the fact that you’re still alive! Celebrate what you have accomplished, whether recently or in your finest moments. Sometimes feeling better just requires that you allow yourself some time to consciously feel good about yourself. Self-acceptance and self-congratulation can really prime the pump of your enthusiasm for life. It’s not arrogant to admit that some things about you are pretty awesome, and most of us don’t do this enough
· Ask for help. Most of don’t do this enough either. It might surprise you how often others are willing to help if you explain your situation and ask whether they can pitch in. As long as you’re not ordering them around, a lot of people actually like to feel like they’re helpful and being supportive of others
· Hug someone you love and tell them that you love them. When you don’t know what else to do, you can’t go wrong with this one, and sometimes it can very quickly change your state of mind
· What has worked for you before in the past in similar situations? Is there something you’ve been wanting to do that you could allow yourself time for?
· Be creative. If you like to paint, or write, or sing, or play an instrument, spend a little time doing that just for fun, or make yourself laugh by thinking up captions for the frowny cat picture above
· Even if it seems like nothing is boosting your mood, know that tomorrow will be different. Sometimes a night of decent sleep can change everything. Sometimes you’ll come out of a funk just as mysteriously as you went in
Feeling resistant to life’s requirements sometimes is completely normal. If you allow yourself some flexibility in how you approach your task list and your daily experience, you may find that the quality of your life actually improves as a result of these times. Any experience can be an opportunity to know yourself better and to find better ways of expressing the best of yourself in life. I hope that the next time you find yourself feeling less than enthused, you’ll be able to change something up without feeling bad about having to confront this part of the human experience.
Girl Power!
“Male and female represent the two sides of the great radical dualism. But in fact they are perpetually passing into one another. Fluid hardens to solid, solid rushes to fluid. There is no wholly masculine man, no purely feminine woman.”
I have a beef with a lot of the language I hear out there in the motivation and personal development arenas. There are many wonderful teachers giving their all and providing excellent information. However, too often I find the available advice to be heavily skewed toward that which boils down to exhortations to students to man up, stop whining, and just do it, whatever the "it" of the moment may be.
We all have access to both masculine and feminine energy and wisdom, but because the past two thousand years or so have been a time of dominance of masculine energy, experience, and thinking, most of us alive now have all been taught that action and tangible results are what matter in life. The measure of success during this time has been how much wealth one could amass (whether or not one had any plan for actually utilizing it) and how much power and influence one could gain over others. Not to say that the desire to gain rewards is bad or that masculine energy is no good! It can be a very helpful and motivating thing to enjoy achievement, rewards, and the process of earning a place of respect in the world. Masculine energy, and men, have a unique and important viewpoint to contribute that is 50% of the necessary picture. But we've been severely out of balance with the feminine energy side of things, which would vote that rewards not be gained at the expense of others' rights, health, and safety; that wealth be used to improve daily life for self and community rather than being endlessly hoarded as a symbol of self-importance; that those who are not the most competitive, aggressive high achievers still have inestimable value that may reveal itself through states of being rather than states of doing.
Through my experiences with clients and my own personal work, I have found that the reasons behind the difficulties most people have in creating the success they want generally lie in accumulated pain and in fear, rather than in laziness or weakness. They don't need to be shamed into action, particularly since shame is a poor motivator—it may spur someone to temporary action, but it's likely to leave him more demoralized than when he started once any challenge appears to block his wave of progress. We don't need to be whipped into a panicked frenzy about how little time we have to spend on this planet through rallying cries like, "You can sleep when you're dead!" Instead, we need to learn motivation techniques that are self-perpetuating, those that have a tendency to build momentum over time; such techniques are built around positive feelings like fun, appreciation, and the satisfaction of personal values. If we try to power our dreams and goals on shame or frenzy, we inevitable burn out, because prolonged exposure to these feelings steals energy rather than creating it. A few people may continue to pick themselves up and keep going through cycles of ultra-high activity and demoralizing crashes, but for most people, the extreme swings that mark the reality of this paradigm are not helpful or productive.
In pursuing what you truly want, here's what I suggest to help you bring the power of the feminine viewpoint into play:
· When envisioning a goal, start with the ideal, whether or not it seems attainable. Then, work forward from where you are now and backward from where you want to be to come up with a sequence of steps to get there. This is essential work, but also, know that the roadmap you're creating is just a draft that you're likely to revise many times unless the goal is very simple. Avoid becoming rigid about adhering to your plan, and attempt to remain open and curious. Curiosity is an aspect of feminine energy.
· Keep in mind that even a master in a given field doesn't know everything, and must constantly adjust plans in order to stay on course as life throws curveballs. Get used to the idea that flexibility is an absolutely necessary life skill, and challenge yourself to build this capacity little bits at a time. For example, you might want to rehearse a sequence of supportive thoughts that you can bring to bear when something unexpected happens. Then, when you’re interrupted or required to reconsider your course, you have that thought string to fall back on to help you remember that this is not a disaster. Compassion for the self and others is a gift of feminine energy.
· Make space for your intuition, by which I mean the mysterious gifts of your unconscious mind's workings, your connection with and experiences with others, and your connection with the divine if that's something you believe in. This is a huge area, but one worth investing in in whatever way you are inspired to do so. Many of the world's most creative and prolific artists and inventors have powered their plans with ideas that seem to flow to them effortlessly in odd moments. We can all learn to be more open to such processes. Intuition is one of the superpowers of the feminine, and we can all learn to make use of it.
· Make sure you think about how your values underlie the goals you pursue. If your goal is not truly an expression of your highest values, achieving it will be unsatisfying. Take time to really listen to what’s in your heart about what brings you joy. Creating harmony with the self, as well as with others, is a feminine-energy strength.
· As long as you take time to celebrate and feel good about your small victories, making progress can and should be fun. Most people almost never stop and appreciate what has gone well and the small achievements they’ve made within a larger process. In failing to do so, they leave a huge source of daily happiness and renewal on the table. If you’re not having fun, you need to focus more on why you want to achieve your goal, and how great it will feel when you do. It’s fine to acknowledge that you’re not sure how you’re going to find your way to success, but then it’s time to get off that topic and get back to feeling great about where you’ve decided to go. This greatly contributes to the creation of positive motivation and energy, and should be part of your daily routine. Fun and playfulness are some of feminine energy’s greatest strengths.
· If you feel stuck, it may be because you’re struggling with one of your emotions; try actually allowing yourself to be open to any messages that the emotion has for you. Even the most unpleasant emotions have wisdom to offer if we’re willing to listen for it. Talk out or write down what you’re feeling. You may uncover something that you’ve been afraid to admit, but is your truth at the moment. If you try to sweep all your emotions under the rug, you’re wasting a lot of energy, because it takes effort to keep them under there. If you let them come up and examine them, you get that energy back, and you can apply it to whatever you want. You get even more energy back if you’re willing to actually feel those feelings so they can be released and transformed. Again, ask for help from a professional if you’re stuck. Refusing to acknowledge emotions is not a sign of strength, it’s a sign of fear, and if indulged, it will lead to brittleness and eventual meltdowns. The willingness to confront your personal truths is one of the feminine aspects of courage.
Here are some of the ways in which it's ok to be uncomfortable as you work toward the fruition of your best ideas:
· Say you find that the next step of your roadmap requires that you learn something that's not fun or natural for you. Does this mean that you're on the wrong track? No! It means that you were not born knowing how to do everything that life requires. Welcome to life on planet Earth! It's usually best to get a basic grounding in the skills you need, even if you decide to find or hire help with that skill going forward. You don't have to master every skill, but you need to know enough to be able to supervise or partner with others effectively. Learning something brand new is uncomfortable, but this discomfort is just part of the process of growth. Flexibility is a feminine aspect of power.
· Working toward a big goal can be frightening. You may need to grow into a more expanded, more competent person in order to get to it, and you may wonder if you can, or even should, do this. After all, who will you be then? What will you have to give up? Will you like yourself? Will your loved ones still like you? How will you cope? If you're confronting issues of identity, but your goal is something you really want, don't be afraid to get help from a friend, a psychological professional, or a coach in finding a way through your dilemma. If you don't resolve your conflict, you're likely to encounter resistance from your unconscious mind. This can take the form of all kinds of obstacles, from illness or injury to confusion and lethargy to fears that stop you in your tracks. Your subconscious mind is the more feminine-energy part of your mind. It’s also a much bigger, more influential part of your mind, so you might as well learn to work with it rather than against it.
· You may worry about how your life will change if you do reach your goal. What if people criticize you? What if you get a lot of unwanted attention? Or you might just worry that you won't be able to make it happen at all. Either way, you need a constructive way to deal with worries and fears. There may be past experiences and traumas you need to heal. As usual, I will recommend EFT/Tapping here. It's a fantastic tool for helping you to calm yourself down and regain perspective so that you can go about your business resourcefully. When we act in states of fear, we have less brain power at our disposal, less access to our creativity, and often less physical coordination. When we act from a sense of confidence, we tend to have a much better experience. It’s worth some effort to change your emotional, mental, and physical state before making decisions or putting plans into action. Healing is one of feminine energy’s superpowers.
· You may encounter the negativity and naysaying of others. While this can be hurtful, no one but you has the right to decide what is appropriate, or possible, for you. Even if Negative Nellie has your best interests at heart, she is not the boss of you! Don't let anyone tell you that you can't do something when you feel deep down that it's part of your life's purpose to try. Find more positive people to support you, and work on your own resistance to negativity. Rehearse saying something like, "Thank you for caring about me. I'll think about about what you've said." Then proceed to make whatever you believe is the best decision for yourself. People often think they’re protecting us by discouraging us from endeavors that seem dangerous to them, even if their fears are based in their own personal issues that have nothing at all to do with you. It’s up to you to decide what’s worth your time and effort. Feminine energy can be stubborn, and this can be a good thing!
· Making mistakes and failing at attempts feels bad. It won't generally kill you, though, and through these experiences, we often learn the most valuable lessons about how to get where we want to go in ways that we won't ever forget. Take the time to review what went wrong, talk it over with someone you respect, and put your new awareness to use going forward. The more comfortable you become with the idea that you will sometimes fail, the less likely you'll be to freak out and quit—and the more you'll learn over time. You'll also end up with terrific stories, which will make you a more entertaining human being. Everyone wins! Being able to laugh at oneself and the absurdities of life is another aspect of feminine power.
I hope you can now see that the more feminine-energy parts of you that may resist forward motion have valuable gifts to offer you if you pay attention, instead of trying to trample them under a stampede of frenzied, oblivious action. By all means, get inspired by the ideas of making great contributions and reaping spectacular rewards, but please don't allow anyone to convince you that you should ignore 50% of your own available wisdom. When you’re uncomfortable, allow yourself to pay attention to what’s going on, and write it out or verbalize it so you can decide whether there’s an important message in your resistance. Even if not, it’s best to find a way to care for the resistant parts of you rather than forcing yourself to soldier on despite your discomfort. Fear is a part of life, but there are things you can do to dial it down in a loving, compassionate way and get out of the fearful perspective without self-judgment. Once you do, you’ll be more likely to succeed and more able to enjoy the journey to everything you want. What’s stopping you from making the progress you want? Go ahead, write it down and see if there’s a helpful message in there for you!