What If I Can't Do It?

“A hero is someone who, in spite of weakness, doubt or not always knowing the answers, goes ahead and overcomes anyway.”

— Christopher Reeve

As we approach the last week of January, I bet you’ve noticed some (possibly pretty serious) resistance to continuing your actions toward your New Year’s resolutions or general 2019 goals. I wanted to chime in at this point and remind you that this is completely normal, and that no one who accomplishes anything requiring sustained effort is always certain that they will prevail. Uncertainty assails us all as we reach for more than we’ve accomplished in the past; only when we’ve proven that we can do something, usually repeatedly, does confidence really start to root. Those who succeed find a way to cope with the worry, uncertainty, and doubt and keep moving and adjusting, failing all the way forward if necessary.

While you may be able to hold onto your enthusiasm for a new project in the short run despite difficulties, as weeks and months wear on, it will be challenged. Below are some strategies for handling the inevitable . I hope they help you to envision how you will work through tougher times, but know that the possibilities are endless, and a chief part of your job as CEO of your life and your mission is to expand this list and figure out which strategies really hit the bullseye of what you need in the midst of challenge.

• Have a statement of what you’re working toward and why, and read it multiple times per day. Be descriptive and really write out everything you expect to have and feel when you’ve accomplished your goal. When you read this, you should feel inspired and as though your mission is a wonderful expression of who you are. When you read it, do not give in to negative, detracting thoughts, but just remind yourself why you started this process and why you still want the goal

• When something comes up that tempts you to just run screaming and give up, remind yourself that it’s ok and part of being human to get frustrated

• Be prepared to tinker your way to new solutions that may be unique to you

• On the other hand, be willing to learn from others who have covered similar ground, or parts of it—you never have to do anything without the benefit of wisdom from others, even if it’s just in the form of reading books on a topic somewhere in the realm of what you’re working on, or looking up how-to’s on technical instruction online

• Practice taking care of yourself when the tough times rear their ugly heads. What really works for you when you’re feeling overwhelmed and disheartened?

  • Naps?

  • Baths?

  • Cooking a beautiful and at least partly healthy meal that you and others around you can enjoy?

  • Spending time with certain positive, loving, accepting people or pets who help you to feel seen for who you are at your core?

  • Spending some time on a creative, fun hobby that brings you joy?

  • Inspiring music or other forms of art that remind you of the better things about humanity, and who you are and wish to be?

  • Moving your body in ways you enjoy?

  • Hikes or walks in natural surroundings to get you outside in the air and sun?

  • Getting a massage or some acupuncture or visiting some other kind of professional healer-type person?

  • Talking out issues with a friend or therapist?

  • Finding a support group for whatever you might be experiencing?

  • Teaming up with someone else who may need help and support as they work on goals as well, or with a coach who can assist you with your process?

  • Finding ways to laugh more and bring some hilarity into your life (just not at yourself in a derogatory way, though)

  • Just trying something, anything, new in your leisure time to get out of a rut

  • Addressing your emotions specifically, with Tapping or something else that helps you express and move past difficult feelings and get back to creativity

  • Planning treats into your regular routine that don’t contradict your goals so you always have something to look forward to

  • Etc.!

It’s easy to think up ways in which you’d like to succeed, but often much harder to actually bring these to fruition. I hope you have an enjoyable time in reaching your goals this year, but if you struggle at any point, there’s absolutely nothing unusual about that, and it doesn’t mean you can’t get to the results you want. It just means you need to be crafty as you go up against your challenges and keep getting better at something related to your goals every week. The self-renewal piece absolutely counts, because it’s what will help you to sustain your resilience when everything seems like too much.

And now I’m taking my own advice and going to get ready to see a fantastic improv group in LA that made me and my companions laugh really hard last time we went. I’ve worked really hard this week and I deserve some downtime! What do you need at this moment, or what would be most helpful? That’s your job to figure out as you take action, receive feedback from the world, and regroup to surge forward again. No matter what you’re up against, you can find ways to keep moving toward your worthy goals in ever smarter and more effective ways. Striving toward things that are meaningful to you is part of what makes life worth it, so keep modifying your techniques and even your goals if you must, but don’t give up!