There's No Place Like Home

“He is happiest, be he king or peasant, who finds peace in his home.”

— Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Sometimes daily life can seem like it's all about just trying to keep ourselves and our families clean and fed.  Certain periods of our lives may need to be very much about those things—for instance, when we first move out on our own after our schooling (everything from cleaning to paying bills is new and takes conscious effort), or when there are young children in the house (who need a great deal of time, energy, and care).  But there are times, hopefully, when we have more energy and focus available for pursuing projects for the sake of interest, self-improvement, career marketability, or creative expression and enjoyment.  In order to have the stability to apply ourselves in satisfying ways to these projects, we need to handle a few other things than just physical needs.  After we've satisfied our most basic needs, our old friend Abraham Maslow posits that we need to feel safe in order to keep progressing.  There are several important areas to consider as we attempt to care for ourselves at this level, all of which are important in allowing us to move forward in life with enough confidence to achieve more than just staying alive every day.  

The first one I want to address is the home.  Humans are uniquely evolved animals, but animals nonetheless; we crave a retreat that can keep us warm and dry as well as safe from marauding predators.  This may not be something you think about consciously all that often.  It’s something you no doubt assess in some way when looking for a new place to live, and you may give it some thought in the first few weeks after moving into a new home, but after that you may find that you drop into a routine and take your safety somewhat for granted.  While I’m not suggesting that you encourage yourself to be paranoid, I am going to ask you to think about whether there is anything about your home base that you feel uncomfortable about.  Perhaps every now and then you have a thought about how you wish there was more light in a certain area outside, or a better lock on your door, and you experience a low-level sense of fear about something you haven't yet defined.  If you find that there is something like this that comes up for you, consider that you may be wasting some energy on these worries that would be far better applied to the things you’d prefer to be spending your time on.

Most of us do not realize how much mental, emotional, and physical energy we waste on worrying about things that are in our power to easily change.  The things that touch on our sense of physical security affect us on the level of our animal selves, and this level is instinctive.  When it feels threatened, we go into “fight or flight” mode, which means that our bodies rev up an array of chemicals to help us prepare for running away from danger at top speed, or for combating the enemy, real or imagined.  The body reacts the same way in either case, as it can’t tell the difference between thought and reality.  In his book The Biology of Belief, Bruce Lipton details how when we’re in the fight or flight response, blood rushes away from the organs and toward the extremities to fully enable movement, and the organs slow their processes; that means that the body is using energy, but not creating much of it from the resources at hand.  The immune system also is greatly disabled in favor of the emergency chemical response.  And the center of conscious mental activity, the forebrain, slows in favor of the instinctive hindbrain, because reflex is faster to respond than reason; by boosting the hindbrain’s activity, the brain joins in to help the body survive while the state of emergency persists.  While all of this is happening, the body can’t engage in may of its normal activities, including growth processes that repair damage.  This overdrive cycle greatly contributes to physical problems over time if it gets activated too often—and in modern life, with its hectic pace and constant demands, this is often the case.

If you could halt or slow this exhausting cycle by choosing to address a few things at home, such as adding a brighter light bulb or springing for a better lock, or even just hanging thicker curtains in the bedroom so it feels more private, why not make that a priority and give yourself more ease on a daily basis?  These things may seem small, but they can add up over time.  We’ll be looking at other ways to feel secure in future blogs, but in the meantime, just give a thought to how you could make your home feel more relaxing by addressing anything about it that makes you feel nervous or unnecessarily vulnerable.  These small changes need not cost much, and they can yield far more than the value you invest.

To Sleep, Perchance To Dream

“Sleep is the best meditation.”

— The Dalai Lama

Sleep.  S-l-e-e…huh, what?  Were you saying something?

I know, this is not a sexy topic.  Let’s see if we can make it a bit more cloak and dagger, then:  Did you know that extreme sleep deprivation might even be able to kill a human?  I guess it makes sense if you really think about it, but I remember that the first time I heard this, I was taken aback.  I'm guessing that I now have your attention!

According to the Division of Sleep Medicine at Harvard Medical School, “…animals deprived entirely of sleep lose all immune function and die in just a matter of weeks,” so it seems likely to smart people who study this topic extensively that the same fate might await a human deprived of all sleep.  However, the messages we usually hear in everyday life in Western culture suggest that there’s something wrong with us if we need more than a few hours of sleep.  When we’re obviously tired, people make fun of us, rib us about too many nights on the town, act like we’re being whiny little babies, imply that we should be able to man up and walk it off.  There are many factors that can contribute to sleep disturbances, but it can seem self-indulgent to spend time working out what crops up here.  After all, everyone has trouble sleeping sometimes, right?  Is that really a big deal?

Modern life has become a race to get more done, produce more tangible results to prove our worth (which is considered from a very “yang” perspective—what have you done, what can you brag about, how hard are you working?)  We’re unlikely to get much notice or credit for trying to create a balanced lifestyle that sustains time with family and friends and our health, and longevity—unless the attainment of six-pack abs is involved!  While we certainly can choose to live by these standards and leave the popular mindset unconsidered, the updated science tells us that sleep is absolutely necessary to our proper physical and mental functioning.

Inadequate sleep is associated with the following, for example:

• Inflammation, which contributes to issues like high blood pressure, arthritis, diabetes, and strokes
   
• Impaired memory, attention span and learning
   
• Decreased emotional stability; tendency toward irritability and depression
   
• Less access to creativity
   
• Diminished athletic ability and stamina, as well as reaction times and the ability to make good
  decisions while driving a vehicle
   
• Loss of muscle mass rather than fat while dieting, as well as increased appetite
   
• Increased stress hormone levels
   
• Decreased synchronization of organ systems
   
• Inability of the brain to process and organize our life experiences (neural consolidation)
   
• In the extreme, hallucinations and paranoia, and even brain damage

Not good at all!  The Same Harvard Web site linked above has this to say about sleep and mortality rates: “Data from three large cross-sectional epidemiological studies reveal that sleeping five hours or less per night increased mortality risk from all causes by roughly 15 percent.”  Also not good.  Ignoring the implications of your sleep life is clearly not the brightest thing to do!

Now, while I think that there are examples of high-functioning people throughout history, such as Mozart, Da Vinci, and Margaret Thatcher, who are reported to have slept surprisingly little, you’ll also note that these people had a very strong, passionate sense of purpose in life.  If you’re not currently living a life fueled by passion and purpose, you’re likely unable to hook into the incredible drive it would likely take to sleep for Da Vinci’s reported two whole hours per day.  There are also physical factors that will contribute to our needs; there's at least one gene that has been found to influence how much sleep an individual will require.  Especially given the toxic chemicals that are all around us these days and the pace of modern life, I think that most of us are fooling ourselves when we pretend we don’t need seven to eight hours per night on average.

On the other hand, I’m willing to acknowledge that societal rhythms that mirror the progression of daylight have kept us from experimentation with non-traditional ideas as far as sleep patterns.  For some, a polyphasic sleep model, in which frequent naps replace a single block of sleep, may actually work quite well; for some, two blocks of four-hour sleep might do the trick; when I was in college, for instance, I found that sleeping for several hours in the early evening followed by a period of homework and then getting more sleep really boosted my productivity and positive attitude about getting my work done.  I still find that a mid-afternoon siesta can be really helpful when I want to stay productive all throughout the day.  There are some fun infographics out there, like this one showing what famous historical figures have done with their sleep patterns that might give you some ideas if your work arrangement allows you to experiment.  Ultimately, I think sleep is one of those areas in which the most successful plan for each person might be a highly individualized one.  It’s worth doing some work to figure out how to maximize its restorative function in your routine. 

In Traditional Chinese Medicine, the maintenance of adequate yin energy, to which sleep is a big contributor, is understood to be the body’s potential, its ability to create the stuff of your body, like blood and bone, and restore it as necessary.  It’s the ability to stay grounded in reality that balances a hyperactive mind, which the majority of us have in the living of the modern lifestyle.  The equilibrium required between both means that you can’t just run everything on yang energy, which is about activity and doing things with your body and mind.  That will burn you out and shorten your life span in this system of thought, and science is bearing this out.  In cultures that spend very little time in calming activities like meditation and quiet time alone while awake, sleep is one of the only things that we do regularly to build yin energy, especially since most of us don't do a great job with nutrition, another of the main sources of yin.

If you are someone who often feels drowsy or impatient, or is already exhibiting diseases that are influenced by lack of sleep, here are some factors to consider in improving this crucial part of your life:

• Make sure that your bedroom is a restful, clean, pleasant space that feels safe.  You should be able to enjoy being in it, and remove distractions and visual and auditory reminders to get things done.  Don’t work in this space.  Keep it for sleep and intimacy only.
   
• Your bedroom should be dark at night, as light hitting your eyes and skin while you sleep signals the body that it’s time to be awake.
   
• You might want to add a white noise machine or air filter that emits a gentle, constant sound.
   
• Keep your cell phone, computer, Blackberry, and other electronics elsewhere while you sleep.
   
• Develop a wind-down ritual so that you’re going to sleep at the same time each day, like doing some light stretching or breathing exercises, or some enjoyable reading in bed. 
   
• Wake up at the same time each day as well, expanding the amount of time you sleep on a daily basis until you don’t feel the need to “catch up” on the weekends. 
   
• Your body temperature is supposed to drop at night, so don’t exercise or take a hot shower or bath right before you want to sleep.  Allow for a cool-down period and lower the room temperature so you’re not too hot.  I also find that I'm more likely to have nightmares if I'm too warm while sleeping.
   
• If you do have trouble getting back to sleep during the night, don’t lie there feeling anxious about it.  Get up and do something relaxing like some more reading or listening to calming music until you’re drowsy again.  EFT (Tapping) is also great for helping you to relax, unwind, and get back to sleep.
   
• Don’t consume caffeine or nicotine past the early afternoon.  And while alcoholic beverages can help you relax into sleep, they can also disturb the second half of your sleep cycle.  Take note of whether this might be happening for you.
   
• Don’t eat a big meal right before bed.  The digestive process makes it hard for the body to sleep deeply.
   
• If you have a pet that is active at night, consider keeping it out of the bedroom while you’re sleeping.
   
• If you have health challenges that interfere with sleep, do what you can to address them.  If those challenges mean that you need extra sleep in order to heal and restore yourself, make it a priority to get it.
  
  I hope you can see how important it is to achieve a healthy sleep routine for you and your specific needs.  Try not to let anyone else decide for you what you need (unless you have serious issues with your sleep, in which case professional advice on your particular situation may be invaluable).  Instead, experiment and really pay attention to what works for you.  The reward will be more energy, clarity of mind, calmer emotions, enhanced creativity, and more vibrant health.  Hey, maybe this is sexy after all.