The Best Way I’ve Ever Found to De-Stress

Emotional Freedom Techniques

Let’s get right to it! EFT or Tapping is a subset of meridian tapping, the practice of tapping lightly on the energy meridian points that are defined in Chinese acupuncture—a highly effective healing methodology that has evolved over thousands of years.  Acupuncture, which stimulates meridian points through the insertion of very fine needles (in acupressure, points are stimulated with the fingers instead) can be helpful for almost any symptom in the hands of an accomplished practitioner.  Meridian tapping was pioneered in the 1960's by George Goodheart.  He seems to have been the first person in modern times in Western civilization to have tried tapping on acupuncture points in order to make some of the benefits of acupuncture available to more people; he did this in the course of developing a system called Applied Kinesiology.  An Australian psychiatrist named John Diamond expanded on Goodheart's work by tapping on meridian points to address emotional issues.  He called this new field of endeavor Behavioral Kinesiology.  Further innovations were discovered by American psychiatrist Roger Callahan, who called his system TFT or Thought Field Therapy, and both Dr. Patricia Carrington and Gary Craig later separately came to similar conclusions on a simplified method, built on all the work that had come before, in which a single sequence of points is used, no matter what the complaint.  Carrington and Craig eventually met, and the system including their contributions became known in the 1980's as EFT.  (I am indebted to Pat Carrington for this chronology.)  Since then, practitioners who use EFT have proliferated and added to the pool of knowledge and experience now known much more widely than in professional psychology circles.  This information is now all over the Internet, so that anyone can learn it and enjoy their own successes with these methods.

There are many methods for "managing" stress that we are encouraged to try by their proponents, but I have come to think of EFT as, instead, a way to eradicate stress.  It has been shown, in both scientific studies and by many practitioners, to have amazing and lasting effects on both physical pain and psychological/emotional problems (or both, as in physical conditions that are affected by stress, or the processes of releasing addictions and excess body weight).  Obviously, nothing works on everyone all the time, but with time and a little patience, one can learn to use EFT in ways that get expedient results.  The only side effect of its use is an increased sense of calm and, often, improved sleep!  It's a very safe modality, it's easy to learn, and it's free to use.  The only qualification I would point out is that anyone with a serious psychological disorder or overwhelming trauma in their history should proceed with caution, and probably with the assistance of one of the many well-qualified professionals who utilize EFT in their practices.  Also, no one should attempt to work on an issue alone if he or she doesn't feel comfortable doing so.

In summary, EFT is a broadly useful self-help tool that has been gaining rapidly in popularity over the last 30 years or so; it can positively affect physical, emotional, mental, and even spiritual concerns. It’s easy to learn and use, and once you get the hang of it, you may find that you want to use it quite often because it’s so efficient in providing relief, and so generally calming.

Why It Works

It may surprise many people to know that the human body has an electrical system, as this isn’t something we hear a lot about outside of Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM); the body's electrical system regulates the functioning of the central nervous system (which governs voluntary bodily functions) and the autonomic nervous system (which governs involuntary functions), as well as the muscles, brain, and heart.  The body’s electrical field can be measured up to several feet outside the physical perimeters of our skin.  Knowing this can make methodologies like acupuncture and EFT, which affect the flow of the body’s energy along the meridians or pathways known to exist in the human body, seem more logical; the world has knowledge of these pathways thanks to the experience compiled by thousands of years’ worth of acupuncture practitioners.  Both acupuncture and EFT help to remove blockages in internal energy flow.  Doing so can result in rapid positive changes to the conditions of organs, systems, emotions, and the body’s overall health.

Before trying it, I would not have believed that the results I’ve produced for myself, and in work with others, were possible.  I’ve been a fan of acupuncture for many years, so I know how effective it can be.  When I first heard a detailed explanation of EFT and understood that it uses the same basic mechanics, I was intrigued, and more so when I heard some of the success stories others were sharing.  I found some highly credible sources with lots of experience to draw from, and they cited numerous scientific studies that have confirmed EFT’s effectiveness and safety.  I have cited a few of the many on my Web site, and you can find others in a simple Internet search if you’re interested in more hard facts.  I like facts too, quite a lot!  But I find that nothing trumps personal experience in the end.  Let’s face it, if something doesn’t work for me, all the laboratory-generated facts in the world are no good to me in my daily life, and conversely, if something does work well for me personally, I don’t need other people to confirm that it works to make it part of my problem-solving toolbox.

When I first tried Tapping by following a guided audio, I remember reacting with something like, “I think maybe I do feel a little something,” but it definitely wasn’t a deeply convincing experience.  It took me somewhere between a week and two weeks of using it a little bit every day on my own before I had my first big “aha” moment, at which point I found myself thinking, “OH!  Wow, ok, this really WORKS!”  Even though I’d heard stories, it was still an exciting surprise to really feel change happening.  And not just that—it happened in a way that felt cathartic and left me feeling happy and grateful when just a short time before I had been feeling, well, neither of those.  There are lots of little tips, tricks, and methods you can try, and if you stick with it for a little while, you will find something that works.  If you want to speed up the process, it can be helpful to work with a practitioner, but you certainly don’t have to.  I didn’t initially, and in short order I was using it every day with increasing enthusiasm because it was making me happier and dialing down chronic pain whenever I did.

While nothing works for everyone all the time, EFT works for a lot of people most of the time, as long as they’ve spent just a little time learning how to use it for themselves; some patience is also required, because we’re going to be addressing our challenges at the source, which may mean spending time feeling some unpleasant things you’ve been ignoring.  You need to be willing to look at yourself, and express yourself, with compassion and honesty if you want to make headway, even if that seems like a very tall order right now.  If you’re willing to attempt that, this modality may change your life.  If nothing else, it can help you to feel a bit better about pretty much every area of your life—and wouldn’t that be a win?

Important

Let’s just take a moment for a few disclaimers.

*Please note:

• No one should work on a serious psychological condition without professional help and oversight

• If your doctor has prescribed a drug for any condition, do not change or stop your dosage without working with a medical professional

• Do not try to substitute EFT or any other self-help modality where emergency medical care is necessary

• Exercise common sense at all times.  If you become uncomfortable at any point in the use of any self-help technique, stop and get help.

All that said, giving EFT a try is well worth the risk of a small amount of time and patience.  For me, my clients, and millions of people around the world, having this simple, effective tool at our fingertips is a life-changing experience of empowerment.  I want to help you get started on creating your own success stories, so let’s get to it!

About the Points

Below are explanations and illustrations of the tapping points I use, and some information about each of the meridian points included in the Tapping sequence.  You'll find illustrations of the points below in the instructions for completing a Tapping sequence.  (You don’t need this in-depth information; Tapping works without your knowing why, but I like to know, so I thought I’d share.  You can skip over this technical bit if you like.)  There are two extra points that you won’t see in many of the explanations of this tool; those I learned from Lindsay Kenny, EFT Master and founder of Pro EFT, who found incorporating them into the sequence to be helpful.  

• Set-up or Side-of-Hand Point: Small Intestine 3 (high on hand): Opens a point behind the heart and clears excess yang

• Inside of Eyebrow: Bladder 2: Opening point for bladder channel, alleviates pain by moving qi, accesses fear

• Outside of eye: Gallbladder 1: Opening point for gallbladder channel, alleviates headache, sharpens eyesight, releases frustration

• Under eye: Stomach 1: Regulates digestion, opening the exit for stagnant emotions, clears heat for releasing cravings; releases worry

• Under nose: Du 26: Restores clarity to the brain and mind, opens the senses

• Chin: Ren 24: Alleviates jaw and face pain, supports and nourishes the elimination process

• Under collarbone: Kidney 27: Alleviates coughing, respiratory inflammation, descends qi, releases grief

• Under arm: The Great Luo point: Partners with all organ systems, opens the chest, releases worry

• Under chest: Liver 14 (optional): Decongests liver, strengthens spleen, harmonizes stomach and descends reverse flow qi, releases anger

• Wrist: Pericardium 7 (optional): Source qi point, which we use to make more qi and blood; Heart 7: Another source qi point alleviates anxiety; Lung 9: Another qi source point, regulates qi, releases grief

• Top of head: Du 20: Soothes the liver, pacifies the spirit, lifts qi and releases fatigue

If you’d like to see a video demonstrating the use of EFT before you try it, you can find that here.

A Few Pointers:

• I recommend Tapping with all of your fingers to expand the area you’re hitting and your certainty that you’re on the points

• You can Tap gently with an amount of pressure that feels comfortable for you. I’ve heard the amount needed described as similar to the weight of a nickel (a U.S. 5-cent coin), which is very little force. I find that sometimes I want to Tap more emphatically and sometimes less. Go with what feels good to you

• As far as hitting the points, you don’t need to be nearly as precise as an acupuncturist needs to be. As long as you’re close to the point, you’ll still get results. This process is forgiving. You do not have to be perfect!

• You can even use just one or two points and still feel improvement. It just enhances results to use them all, and you may find that Tapping on the points on both sides of your body also helps, though again it’s ok to use just one side if that’s easier

• There’s no specific amount of time that you need to spend on each point. I would Tap a minimum of six or seven times on each, but if you want to spend 5 minutes on one before moving on, that’s totally ok

• Don’t worry too much about what to say. The specific words are actually not all that important as long as they get at what you’re feeling. Sometimes people just tap and grunt or tap and cry without using any words at all, and that works fine. What’s essential is that you admit and feel your feelings, express yourself honestly, and be willing to allow things to change as you Tap

• I recommend Tapping with your eyes closed so you can access internal information with fewer distractions, but do what’s comfortable. If you're feeling a lot of emotion already, this won't be necessary, and in fact might not be the best idea. You want to be in touch with what you're Tapping on, but not overwhelmed by it

• I also recommend that you do this alone where you won’t be overheard. You can whisper or just say whatever you want to say in your mind if need be, but you need to be able to be unfiltered and not worry about how your honesty will affect others

• Tapping on pain can be highly effective, but we’re not to go into that in depth here. If you want to try it, you can try Tapping while just feeling and describing the pain itself. Another way to begin is to ask yourself, “If this pain was an emotion, what would it be?” If an answer comes up, proceed with the process below and Tap on that emotion plus any others you feel about having the problem, taking each item or “aspect” in turn

• In TCM, there’s an understanding that the body goes through a cycle every 24 hours in which each organ goes through a time of high activity. Sometimes after a treatment, it takes the body going through this whole cycle to adjust to changes, so don’t freak out if you still don’t feel great right away even though you did some good work on your issue. Eat some healthy food, drink water, and get some sleep and you may find that you feel better the next day

• Sometimes after tapping I feel REALLY tired. Even a quick nap is a nice reset if you have the time

The Process

1. Decide what subject you want to work on (sometimes called the target).  If you’re not sure where to begin, jot down some of the things that bother you most on a daily basis—sources of stress, worry, or conflict within yourself or with others.  You can choose whatever seems the most stressful, or start with something that feels easier.  You can also just start with everything at once; if you want to go with this option, you’ll spend the first few rounds just ranting about everything that’s bugging you.  If you like, pretend that you’re talking to your best friend.  Sometimes it’s fun to really indulge in the drama and ridiculousness of it all and imagine someone listening who loves you no matter what.  This will help you feel calmer and perhaps clarify something singular you’d like to concentrate on in more specific rounds of Tapping.

2. Give your primary complaint a SUD number (Subjective Units of Distress)—to do this, give it a number on a scale of one to ten, where one is slight and ten is the worst possible.  Again, there’s no need to stress about being perfect here.  Just go with the first number that comes to mind.  This becomes helpful later in figuring out what kind of progress you’ve made

3. When you have your target, it all starts with what we call the set-up statement.  There are several of these that are commonly used, but the fundamentals include an expression of your acceptance and love for yourself just as you are; some include your intent to allow change to happen.  You want to soften your resistance and allow yourself to relax a little before you start Tapping rounds.  Fill in the blanks shown below with your complaint, like, “I’m so angry at my sister right now,” or, “I feel so overwhelmed.”  You can repeat the statement three times while Tapping the side of hand point (shown below), or use three different setup statements but fill in the same target each time. Here are a few set-up statements you can try in common Tapping language:

• Even though ______, I deeply and completely love and accept myself (if you find this difficult to say, it’s ok to change it to “I want to love and accept myself”)

• Even though ______, these feelings aren’t all of me, and I’m ready to start letting them go now

• Even though ______, I choose to allow this to improve so I can start feeling better now

Once you get the idea, you can always riff on these and say whatever similar thing occurs to you, add other affirmations, whatever you want.  Scripts are great for getting started or for more complex issues.  With more experience, you’ll find that Tapping becomes a dynamic and creative endeavor, and you may find your intuition guiding you about where to go with it.

4. Now that you’ve relaxed and focused a bit by using set-up statements, choose a reminder phrase that summarizes your issue and start Tapping on the rest of the points in sequence as you repeat that phrase and focus on the issue.  At first this is a little like patting your head and rubbing your belly at the same time, but it won’t take you long to learn the sequence, and then it’s easy.  In the meantime, just look at the pictures and follow the sequence in your own timing.  Be as specific as you can about how the issue feels, what it looks like, sounds, smells, or tastes like, and where you feel it in your body when you choose the reminder phrase.  You can simply say, “This burning, red anger in my belly” (or whatever it is) at each point to keep you focused on the problem while you tap. Wandering focus will not give you ideal results, so do what you need to do in order to keep coming back to concentrating on the issue at hand.

Point 1:  Inside of the eyebrow                  

Point 2:  At the side of the eye                 

Point 3:  Under the eye                              

Point 4:  Under the nose                            

Point 5:  On the crease of the chin            

Point 6: Under the collarbone

Point 7:  Under the arm

Point 8:  Under the chest (optional)

Point 9:  On the inside of the wrist (optional)

Point 10:  On the crown of the head

5. Another method you can try is “telling the story.”  Here, you start telling the tale of something that happened that upset you, and stop as soon as you notice any negative feelings in the here and now (or sometimes how you remember feeling about it the first time around, or both one at a time.)  Get specific about those feelings, emotionally, physically, or even around some little detail you can't seem to let go of like a visual image or a sound or odor.  Ask yourself how bad this feels on a scale of one to ten.  Then tap on the points as you repeat a reminder phrase about those.  You should notice that your SUD number comes down after a round or two or three.  Only when your number is 0-1 should you move on to the next details of the story and your reactions in this moment to those.

But is it really ok to voice the negativity of how you really feel here?  Is that constructive...?  You bet!  In fact, it’s essential to connect with your real, unfiltered feelings and speak your truth, which is why I recommend doing this in private.  Sometimes your truth may sound really bitter or mean or full of rage, and if someone were to overhear it, he or she might feel hurt or stressed out.  Also, you’ll find that your feelings will shift during this process, so you might later really regret such an episode.  But when you’re in the feeling, you deserve to be able to express it and get it off your chest. In order for it to really transform, you have to feel it while you tap.  Don’t worry, you’re not going to stay in the negative or reinforce it by doing this.  If you stick with this process those feelings will almost always transform or at least lighten up a bit.

6. Once you’ve gone through all the points, you’ve completed one round. Just keep going around to continue the process. Ask yourself what the SUD number would be now on that scale of one to ten after each round to see whether you need to keep working on the same issue.

7. As things shift, sometimes you may feel conflicted, seeing both positive and negative.  You might want to try going back and forth as you tap a round between more positive statements and more negative ones to voice that conflict.  Sometimes this can feel really satisfying.

8. As your SUD number comes down, you may find that you start to have realizations about other people involved or find that you can expand your viewpoint.  If it feels good, you might want to do a round or two of tapping on a positive shift, affirming your new, more positive viewpoint, but you should never try to force yourself into making statements you don't really feel.  If you try out a more positive statement and it feels fake or irritating to say it, go back to your reminder phrase, or a new one that expresses any backlash thoughts you have in response to rising positivity (these are called "tail enders," and often being with something like "Yeah, but..."

9. Try to get your number down to a zero so the issue is really cleared.  That doesn’t mean you’ll never encounter anything like this again, because life happens!  But when you’re at zero, you should be feeling pretty darn good about your original issue.

10. When you think you are at a zero, test it by imagining that you’re back in the original situation that you were upset about.  If uncomfortable feelings flare up again, keep working on them until you can rerun the situation in your memory without that happening.  Believe it or not, when you’re really at a zero, the emotional charge will be gone, and you’ll find that you just don’t really care about the whole thing so much anymore.  Which is not to say that you won’t need to communicate or make other changes so that this doesn’t happen again, but you’ll be able to do so more calmly now.

11. If what you were working on was particularly difficult, you may find that you feel a little off balance even when your issue is at a zero.  You might want to do some positive Tapping rounds (by the way, Tapping supercharges affirmations, if you like those) and just say things like:

• My body will figure out how to come back into balance

• It’s great to express this stuff rather than keeping it stuck inside

• Given a little time to adjust, I’m going to feel even better

• I intend to live the life of my dreams, and I'm moving toward that right now

12. Treat yourself gently and well, as if you just worked out or had a hard day.  Eat healthy food and drink plenty of water.  Make an effort to speak to yourself more compassionately and kindly.  Thoughts and emotions are things.  They affect us in numerous multi-layered and amazing ways.

Why It May Not Work for You Right Away

Now that we’ve covered the sequence of points and the basics of how to use it, let’s talk about some things you can try if you feel like you’re not getting anywhere.

• Drink water.  So many of us are out of the habit and chronically dehydrated, and the body’s electrical system (which is what we’re working with here) doesn’t function well if you are

• Throw in another setup statement on the side-of-hand point to remind yourself to relax

• Tell yourself that it’s safe and appropriate to let go of this thing that’s bothering you, and pay attention for any resistance that surfaces.  You might find that you want to say something like, “No, it’s not!  People won’t like me if I let this go,” or something else, in which you can Tap on that statement.  You can also go back and forth between more positive statements and voicing any resistance that comes up.  You may find that you need to spend some time on those resistant thoughts and beliefs aside from the original issue

• Take off jewelry and watches (some of us have sensitivities to metals)

• Move away from electronics and your cell phone (sounds weird, but sometimes it helps)

• Ask yourself if you’re avoiding feeling your negative feelings.  In order for this process to work well, you have to actually feel what’s in there, not just think about it.  I’m not saying you have to dive into it headfirst and wallow, but you need to admit to and express it somehow in order to effectively release it.  There may end up being some yelling or crying involved, and if there is, I encourage you to go with it.  It will be less painful and the feelings will release a lot faster while Tapping than they otherwise would.  On the other hand, if you ever suspect that you're avoiding something that's too traumatic for you to handle alone, please do stop and get help before attempting to move forward

• Men, especially, are not generally encouraged to feel things and express themselves, though anyone can have difficulty with this for any number of reasons.  But feeling stuff is required if you want to get results with Tapping.  Doing so may seem difficult or pointless at first, but if you can just stick with it, it will get easier and you will feel a lot better!

• Try another method:  Unstructured ranting, or the more structured approach.  These aren’t the only ones by any means, but they’re simple and easy to use, and usually one of them will be effective in getting you some relief

• Sometimes emotions behave like wave forms.  They surge and then recede, or one comes to the forefront of your awareness just as another fades.  Don't worry, you're not doing anything wrong if this happens.  Try to hang in there and keep Tapping until the surging stops, or take a break and come back to what you were working on later if you need to. Remember that you can't really "do it wrong" unless you're ignoring your real feelings and any warning signals your system is giving you about something being too much for you right now.  Stay open to what's happening, treat yourself with respect and care, and don't give up.  You will learn about what works for you with practice

• Keep learning.  You can visit www.EmoFree.com for tutorials from the founder of EFT, Gary Craig, or www.EFTInternational.org, www.EFTUniverse.com or www.TheTappingSolution.com for other great resources in addition to what's on my Web site.

In Conclusion

What we’ve covered here is just the very basics of EFT.  There are many more helpful techniques you can add into your Tapping later, but this should get you started and help you to feel some improvement in your challenges.  

I hope you’ve found this article to be informative and helpful.  Check out www.empowermentstrategies.net for more information.  Wonderful things await you with continued practice, and I wish all the best in life for you!