Never Enough Time!
“Time abides long enough for those who make use of it.”
Since I know I’m not the only one who often feels that there just aren’t enough hours in the day, I thought I’d write this week about how to cope with that feeling of “never enough time.” Because we live in a fast-paced and complex world, I don’t think this issue is going anywhere anytime soon, so we might as well find ways to cope with the constant pull toward busy-ness and the limitations of our daily 24 hours. For much of human history, things were different; before the advent of electric lights, the period of daylight marked the limits of productive time, but now that we can work around the clock, finding balance in our use of time has taken on a whole new dimension of complexity.
I’ve heard it said that the only truly limited resource is time; yet our experience of time can be so different from moment to moment—even our relationship to something so inevitable is not an intractable, hopeless case in which nothing can improve. Here are some ideas for adding more space into your dance partnership with time.
· Tap! Using EFT really is the most effective way I know to introduce more of a sense of calm about what is on your plate. If you’re someone who tends to live on the edge of overwhelm a lot, you might need to make a regular practice of this for a while to really see the results you want. Use it throughout the day whenever tension starts to rise, and eventually you’ll find that your responses to life events and task lists will be less intense. You’ll build an ability to stay out of crisis mode when the situation doesn’t warrant it. Our perception is shaped by our emotions, thoughts, and beliefs; when you can sustain more positive internal states, everything can feel less dire and positive change can seem much more possible.
· Breathe. Remembering to breathe deeply as often as you can, really expanding the belly as you do so, is a quick way to calm your body and mind and refresh every cell with more oxygen than you’d otherwise be getting. If you’re not breathing well, you’re not going to have nearly as much energy as you could with just a little extra effort in this area. It’s fast! It’s free! There’s no downside.
· Know that living with a certain tension in your relationship with time is a normal part of living the human experience. Everyone who has ever lived has had to contend with this. Much remains mysterious as far as why sometimes a vacation day can seem long and lazy, or sometimes it can seem to fly by in two blinks of an eye when you’re doing essentially all the same things. Some days you accomplish far more than you thought you would. Other days, it’s a struggle to do anything at all. All of this is normal, so don’t beat yourself up about it.
· But also know that as with any area of life, with attention and experimentation, you can find ways of handling it that will be more helpful for your unique personality and needs. You can also learn a great deal from others by reading, listening to podcasts, taking workshops, etc. You might want to go reread my previous blog on time management here for some immediate ideas on that subject. As you become comfortable with some best practices for organizing and focusing your efforts, you will find that getting more done for yourself is a less mysterious process. It might take some doing, but you’ll be able to set yourself up to really leverage the time you have when you need to. Still, accept that you’ll experience an ebb and flow in your experience of time, allow yourself to reschedule when you need to, and just keep moving.
· Learn how to say no if you’re bad at it. There is only a certain amount that you will be able to accomplish in a day, and if you’re never leaving enough time to take care of your own needs and goals, you will always feel frustrated to some extent. Saying no is a skill like any other, and it can be learned and mastered. It may not only require making a new decision and practicing, though. Often the reason we say yes to more than is healthy or realistic is that we’ve been taught, through direct teaching or through experience, that this is what it takes to be a good person, to get love, and to be safe. Again, EFT can be incredibly helpful in making change more comfortable by helping you to more easily transform and let go of fears that are keeping you stuck in place.
· Build some time into your schedule for physical activity. Yes, this requires an investment of time, but eventually it will create more energy, enthusiasm, and well-being than it uses up. Similarly, you need nutritious food, clean water, and a reasonable amount of sleep each night to function effectively. If you’re not getting these basics, you’re always going to feel like you’re behind the ball.
· Ask for help when you need it. You may not always get exactly what you wanted, but if you don’t ask, you’re definitely going to be stuck doing much of your task list on your own. If you don’t have anyone to ask for help in your immediate vicinity, there are lots of people you can connect with online who might be willing to barter services if you can’t pay for help.
· Learn to cultivate gratitude for what’s going well in your life. Spending more time appreciating the good has a calming influence. This can help you to be less frantic about making progress, and thus more discerning about what’s really necessary or important for you to do. Maybe there are a bunch of things on your mental to-do list that you could get rid of completely, or put off because they’re not essential at the moment. Panic ensues from an inability to prioritize, and then it perpetuates a vicious cycle, because when you’re panicked, you can’t think clearly. Keep breathing and coming back to appreciation for what’s good already.
· Make sure you’re reminding yourself somehow about your goals every day. That also will help you to stay on track and resist the temptation to scatter your attention on things that don’t advance what’s most important to you.
· Celebrate what you have accomplished. It’s helpful to write down positive actions you took every day before bed, as that helps you to give yourself proper credit for all the good work you did. It’s also fun to look back at this later and see what you’ve been able to achieve, and this is a great way to build your confidence in your own abilities. Even if it’s only one thing per day, you’ll see that you’re making progress little by little, and everything counts—did you manage to make better food choices? Did you handle a recurring situation better than you have in the past? Did you realize something new that will help you in the future? Celebrate it all.
I hope these ideas help you to find more peace in your relationship to time. This is a huge subject, and one in which we continue to learn and grow for a lifetime, so we’re just focusing on some basics here. Time will always be, in important ways, a limiting factor, but it is possible to grow in your contentment with natural rhythms; you can learn to enjoy getting done what you can and then reverting to rest and renewal before doing it all again.