Finding the Fun in Giving
“Real generosity toward the future lies in giving all to the present.”
In recent weeks, I’ve been writing about the importance of boundaries in maintaining your balance and ability to sustain progress. Now that we have a grounding in creating those, this week I want to talk about the opposite! We’re entering a season when giving is often at the forefront of people’s minds, and this can be a beautiful and fulfilling time for all of us, regardless of what set of traditions may belong to our family and loved ones. Since giving traditions are playing out all around us, it’s a great time to consider the place giving has in our lives, and whether this dynamic is in balance with the rest of what we have going on.
Appropriate boundaries allow us to greet each day as the healthy, energized people we want to be. I’m a huge fan, in this world of overwhelm, of taking regular steps to ascertain that we haven’t been slowly tempted into overextending ourselves so that we’re living run-down, miserable, barely conscious lives. On the other side of this coin, though, is the question of whether we’ve become so self-protective that we’re not taking our rightful place in the flow of life around us—not contributing our unique gifts, which our communities need, and not experiencing the deep joy of connection and reciprocity with our neighbors that is part of what’s most worthwhile about being human. Both sides of this coin are essential to sustaining our inspiration on a daily basis.
It is often through openness to giving that we find the most life-changing opportunities to expand our viewpoints and our capacity for compassion. In giving, we may find that we are called in an exciting way to become more, greater versions of ourselves, as we reach to improve the lives of others. We may find that we have more to give than we thought, that we’re capable of more than we guessed. Because human beings love to push boundaries and grow, such realizations can feed a positive cycle of giving and invigorating personal achievement that elevates everyone involved.
Receiving with a grateful heart feels amazing, but often the one on the receiving end is surprised. The one doing the giving gets to savor the anticipation of giving the gift, in addition to the moment of the reveal and the memory the exchange creates. That anticipation can bring a great deal of warmth to this period of lead-up if you allow it to. You don’t have to be giving profusely every day in order to experience the heart-opening glow of making giving an important part of your daily happiness practice; you can just spend a few minutes planning how you will give, enjoying memories of giving or receiving, or complimenting others on the fly when you recognize something you can appreciate about them. The more you start to associate giving with joy and fun, and the opportunity to bring brightness to others’ lives, the more its power will compound to bring more richness to your experience. In many traditions there are teachings about obligational giving, and guidelines reminding us about how the virtues of generosity can be helpful, but if you leave out the delight factor, everyone’s experience around giving and receiving will be dampened. Isn’t it more fun to receive a gift from someone who is obviously enjoying the gift-giving process than from someone who seems to be giving out of obligation, or with strings attached? Doesn’t it make you want to reciprocate more when a gift seems like an expression of love and appreciation? Do you see how when everyone gives with joy, the result is a force, a wave that travels outward carrying greater potential to everyone it touches?
If you are looking to live a happy, inspired life, you need to balance your self-care and your habits around giving. Both are necessary in order to keep your physical, mental, and emotional states at optimal levels. Each of us may find that a different mix of giving and receiving is appropriate at any given time, as what we need and what we can give will fluctuate based on the innumerable factors that make up a life, and that’s ok. As long as you’re remembering to consider these two sides of the coin when you have choices to make, chances are good that you’ll choose well and continue to learn and grow in joy and potential and balance, doing your part in creating a better world for everyone.