Getting Free of the Past
“Because I remember, I despair. Because I remember, I have the duty to reject despair.”
In light of the reported suicides of some very famous and successful people this week, it seems more important than ever to get out whatever information I can about what we know about the pursuit of happiness, and how we can be most effective in it. I'd like to remind everyone about the large-scale CDC study on adverse childhood events and their effects on adult health and happiness that you can find information about here. The story behind it is pretty interesting—a scientist was working with a group of people on weight loss, and was flummoxed about why some people would lose an enormous amount of weight in the confines of a scientific study, but drop out before it was over or then gain it all back very quickly after the study's conclusion. As he looked deeper, this led to startling findings about what types of experiences trigger weight gain and loss. The results are some of the most important information about health you'll probably ever read, but I bet most of you have never even heard of this study.
I hope you'll take a look at those links, but in short, traumatic experiences wreak havoc on physical, mental and emotional health. If you're bothering to read this, that may not seem like a revolutionary statement. Yet the medical community still has not acknowledged, in many ways, that major illnesses are influenced by more than genes and mechanistic chemical reactions within the body. The events of our lives have profound effects on our futures, and who we have the opportunity to become. And even the most rich and famous among us often don't reach out for help or can't find all the help that is available to address the things that hold us all back from our inherent potential. What about those with few resources and many competing responsibilities? We can do better than this.
We can all keep an eye out for those around us who may be struggling and help them connect with information that might help, or just lend a sympathetic ear so that no one in our circle feels alone. We can commit to learning about all the options that exist to help us all spring back from the ways in which life happens. We can all work on instituting some sort of a daily practice that helps to preserve our sanity and make us more of a resource to the world around us, even if this is no part of our career responsibilities. In today's world, it's so easy to feel isolated even in a world teeming with people. Whatever else I'm doing, I hope I help others to know that they are not alone, and help is available all around. You know that I'm a huge proponent of EFT (Tapping) in the quest for health and happiness, but it's just one of many, many helpful modalities. We can all find something that can help us through our next steps, whether it's cognitive therapy, traditional systems of health/medicine from all over the world, or modern blends of numerous techniques used together.
Above all this, we need to destigmatize the work of addressing mental and emotional pain. Experiencing pain of any kind is not shameful, and admitting that you could use help with the aftereffects of difficult life experiences is one of the strongest, most courageous things you can do. Not to mention one of the most effective, because as long as you struggle with daily life, you are denying yourself and the world around you the best results of your inherent brilliance unleashed. Let's stop acting like everyone should be able to just suck it up and handle everything that's ever happened to them alone and in silence. Some kinds of life events are overwhelming. This approach is killing us.
We're going to keep talking about how to get happier, but whatever you do, don't go back to sleep. Please engage with your own needs, your own life, and the others around you, and let's work on growing past this fatal ignorance together. When people find out about all the helpful tools that exist, hope returns and the work of reclaiming desperate, frozen aspects of our complete selves can begin. Balance and happiness may take time to build, but what is a better use of our time than learning these life-saving and quality-of-life-saving skills?