The Amplifying Power of Cooperation
“Competition has been shown to be useful up to a certain point and no further, but cooperation, which is the thing we must strive for today, begins where competition leaves off.”
Photo by Shane Rounce
Interestingly, though so many of us have been raised with the idea that nature is set up to reward “Survival of the Fittest,” and that this means a life of high-octane individualistic competition for all beings, this may not be the most observable truth. I just read an article postulating that even Darwin, credited as the author of this concept, didn’t mean it the way it has been passed down. While I’m not an expert here and have not read Darwin’s works directly, I wouldn’t be surprised if his observations had been oversimplified. The world around us is full of examples of ingenious interconnectedness and cooperation. Until very recently in human history, people lived in highly interdependent, necessarily cooperative groups/tribes because without modern technology, the tasks required for sustainable survival were well beyond the abilities of most single humans.
In modern times, we have been increasingly enabled to exist with less directly obvious interaction with others, so daily human interactions have dwindled. As a result, in the last century, there has been a remarkable increase in the symptoms of loneliness and a decrease in feelings of purpose and daily relevance. Many people feel less able to turn to reliable partners for support in times of difficulty. A lot fewer of us feel like we’re a part of a thriving, socially connected community. And now, we’re confronting a pandemic that requires yet more isolation, exacerbating a growing sense of loneliness for so many.
This is new territory, and we are evolving new ways to stay connected, like the Internet. Being able to connect to anyone with Internet service around the world expands the ways in which we can become interconnected to other people in meaningful ways across distance. However, it does not replace the depth of real-world, multi-dimensional relationships that many of us are lacking. The constant availability of vast amounts of information and opportunity of certain kinds may seem as though it should be enough to fulfill us, but somehow it’s just not. It often only adds to our feelings of stress and overwhelm rather than decreasing them as healthy relationships can do.
Healthy, balanced, cooperative relationships can assist us in creating better solutions to problems by allowing us access to a wider array of talents and ideas. They can broaden our sense of security, because we know that the people on the other end will be there when we’re truly in need, just as we will pitch in when they need something important. Healthy relationships assure us that others know, approve of, and care for us through the ups and downs; they help to give us a sense of daily purpose as we participate in supporting a network of people we like, and who are working toward goals we can approve of. Human beings are evolutionary, meaning that we have a natural drive toward learning, growth, and achievement, but we are also built to be social. If we are not tending to our social needs, we can feel just as empty as when there is no obvious path forward to the creation of better things for ourselves and those around us.
In this time of such great challenge to our social needs, it’s vital that we devote some focus and ingenuity to how we will tend to our social needs and those of the people we want to stay connected to. Part of self-care is caring for our relationships, and making sure that those we love know we’re available to them in whatever ways we can be. Relationships take time and effort to build and deepen, and they take more time and effort to maintain. If we neglect them, over time, their strength may falter and leave us feeling less grounded, less supported, less well. Many of us have been struggling to adjust to a host of new routines, pressures, and problems lately, and it’s hard to keep up with everything at once, but making sure we don’t drop out of our relationships is incredibly important.
If you’ve let this go by the wayside in the face of overwhelm, make sure you’re taking the time this week to reach out to someone whose presence in your life you cherish. It doesn’t have to take a lot of time, but you may find that you get great satisfaction out of even a short visit if you’re putting aside distractions and really showing up fully for it. Think about the ways in which you could cooperate to get more of what you want and need rather than trying to go it alone, and take satisfaction in the cooperation you’re already leveraging. Let yourself celebrate and feel good about what’s good in your life, what is supportive and going right even when so much is challenging. Healthy relationships are one of the best, most valuable things we can create, and they should be appreciated and nurtured.