Escaping Mental Quicksand
“The ultimate value of life depends upon awareness and the power of contemplation rather than upon mere survival.”
Have you ever gotten stuck in a negative loop of thoughts and/or actions? Something happens that takes the wind out of your sails, and suddenly you don't want to do anything. You start thinking that it's futile to try, and that thought builds momentum until you feel like you weigh a thousand pounds. Maybe you act out in sabotaging ways. That just makes you feel worse. Etcetera. If you're being honest with yourself, you're aware that we all take detours like this sometimes, and you're no different! The trick is to minimize this kind of distraction so that you can spend more time feeling inspired, and happily chewing through whatever tasks will get you to your goals—including goals for plentiful social and leisure time in which to enjoy your life.
There are two things I want to mention in connection with getting yourself on track when you find yourself in a negative thought loop. First, awareness. In twelve-step programs, we're taught that the first step is admitting we have a problem, but before that's even possible, we have to become aware of the signs and symptoms suggesting that this is true. Generally as you go about your life, the more observant and aware you can become, the better off you are. First, the faster you notice that your thoughts are spiraling downward, the faster you can arrest them and decide what kinds of thoughts and actions would actually help you. Second, the information you gain access to by actively looking for it can help you massively in formulating plans for moving forward. Developing finely tuned awareness may take some practice, because it's a skill many of us aren't taught. Also because we live in a fast-paced world in which we're often trying to tune out the extraneous and focus on what is necessary or preferred, and becoming more aware can be distracting and confusing. It's fine to start slowly and work up to more awareness in ways that feel balanced.
The second thing is education. If you want to move quickly toward your ideal life, become an education junkie. Learn to love it, crave it, and make it a normal part of your daily routine. See a problem that's holding you back? Consult someone who might know about it, or books, podcasts, or the Internet. If you don't immediately find ideas you like, keep looking, and be open to inspiration about a unique solution that might bubble up from the depths of your own subconscious unexpectedly. Once you start on the path to a solution, your mind will work below the surface, sparking your own creativity. You never know what insights may result. This will also tend to help you feel more hopeful, because you're doing something useful that could change your future. Education primes the pump, making new combinations of thoughts possible. It also saves you precious time and energy as you benefit from the triumphs and mistakes of others who have gone before.
To combine the two, let's imagine, for example, that your car is making a strange noise. You might ask a friend who is mechanically inclined what might be causing it (ask someone for help). You might then bring it to a mechanic for a professional diagnosis (hire someone). Once the shop makes a recommendation for service, and offers a price, you might check an online search engine for information about how much any recommended repairs usually run so you can tell whether the price you were given is fair (surf the Internet). Once the repair is completed, you might get a book from the library about how to maintain your car so you have fewer problems in the future (find helpful media). You'll then know what to look for in the future in order to notice what needs to be done to maintain your car (practicing awareness).
All of this contributes to your life experience in ways that will serve you indefinitely, even if it doesn't seem all that fun at the time. As your experience and knowledge grow, so does your confidence, not just with this subject matter, but with the process of learning and solving problems. The ability to notice issues and calmly follow the steps needed to unwind them, when honed, makes you nearly unstoppable. You also become more of a resource for others who may be in need of helpful information in the future, and that can be satisfying in its own way. As you head into this week, think about issues you have that would be helped by turning on your awareness or doing a little research. It can be pretty enjoyable to make progress on an issue that's been irritating you, and you may find that's it's not as hard to do as you thought.