Can I start Now?
“I learned that we can do anything, but we can’t do everything... at least not at the same time. So think of your priorities not in terms of what activities you do, but when you do them. Timing is everything.”
It feels great when life works out such that you get to follow your own best and most natural timing in working toward your goals. That seems to happen roughly never in the real world, though, doesn't it? Most of us have messy lives with lots of competing demands, and people we love, to fit into a limited schedule every day. Timing isn't just about our whims, but also balancing all of these important demands while hopefully staying healthy at the same time. Given the difficulty of juggling everything you have going on, even your most important goals can end up on the back burner. Working toward personal goals can feel like a selfish thing to do in the moment, even if the results of your work will benefit everyone you know. Additionally, it can be particularly hard to carve out the necessary time for your pursuits if you're not confident that you really can create the results you want—and since experience builds confidence, this can be a vicious cycle.
In addition to scheduling difficulties, we also have to deal with the internal results of not following the best personal timing. If your natural timing is constantly interrupted, that can be frustrating. Your enthusiasm can take a lot of hits if, in contrast, you just never quite get yourself on a roll. Some tasks legitimately need uninterrupted, concentrated effort to be completed well. No project ever seems to proceed in a perfectly orderly, gloriously serene manner! There will be unexpected developments and distractions—these may even prove to be beneficial in hindsight. But when they arise, it may seem like you just can't seem to get anything done, and it's not even your fault! In this blog, we'll look at how to deal with timing that feels less than ideal.
In the ideal scenario, if you had all the time in the world, you could organize your day in the way that you most enjoy. You would go to sleep and wake up at the times that feel most natural for you. You would decide each day what you'd like to work on and in what order, and when to take breaks for meals. You would spend just the amount of time you prefer working versus spending time with friends and family. Maybe you're laughing right now and thinking, "As if!" But this is what I'm talking about when I mention ideal timing. Whether we admit it or not, most of us have a fantasy of living life this way, and we long for more of this quality in our lives. I'm not going to pretend that it's easy to move in this direction, but I will say that if you don't know what your ideal day would look like, it's helpful to consider it. Even if you can't rework every day to look more like your ideal, you could add some of your ideal elements some days. Even small steps in the direction of what you long for as far as scheduling choices can help you to feel empowered, energized, and more like yourself. It's not self-indulgent to find what works best for you and try to do it. In fact, doing this will tend to make you happier, more productive, and more pleasant for everyone else to be around.
Since it's not always possible to set up everything the way you'd most like it, a big part of sustaining your momentum is constantly dealing with the stops and starts, and the emotions that come up for you throughout this process. A few simple go-to strategies are in order here. The top idea I recommend, which can really boost your clarity and save the day when you're stuck, is to write out both your goals and your current life priorities, and make sure they stay current over time. I've written before about why it's helpful to be able to refer to your goals on a daily basis, but since your progress toward them must be balanced against your present obligations, you actually need both. Perhaps you have young children or pets; no matter what you're building toward, they still need your care. Maybe you have adult friends and family members who depend on you, or responsibilities in your community that can't just be dropped because they're an important demonstration of your core values, and they feel like part of who you are. If you have a clear statement of these that you can refer to when you're frazzled, you will most likely find it easier to figure out how to proceed.
Prioritizing something over something else that's also important doesn't mean you're abandoning anything, just that you're making a choice to change the order of tasks to make sure the thing you chose gets done first today. Sometimes you'll need to ask for help, or accept that another task will be pushed back a day. Often we have more latitude than we think; the deadlines we assign to things may be arbitrary on further examination, or we may be assuming that someone else won't be on board if we need to move things around. It's worth asking directly. It's also worth learning that it's o.k. to say no to others sometimes and working on increasing your comfort with doing that. You are here to live your life, and contribute what you have to offer that's unique, just as others are. It's easy to get drawn into a bunch of scheduled items that don't have much to do with your life and your priorities. If remembering and acting on this is hard for you, I recommend finding someone who shares some of your important values who will enjoy hearing about your adventures and sharing their own. You can support and learn from each other as you get better at focusing your efforts.
Take just a few minutes to write out your highest values. (Really. Like now, people.) These are qualities you wish to define you. You can clarify some of them by thinking about what behaviors from others drive you nuts! If you can't stand when others are rude and oblivious, then maybe the opposites, consideration for others and generosity, are among your core values. Put your core values in positive terms that can remind you, whenever you need it, what is most important to you and who you want to be. Reading over these should engender enthusiasm and help you refocus each day. When you really hit the mark with these, you will find that thinking about them brings you renewed energy and gets you excited about at least some aspect of your life. Put these somewhere you can easily see them. You can make a note on your bathroom or in your phone, or multiple places. Consult it if you're having trouble figuring out how to prioritize your day.
Keep an eye out for what helps you to want to get tasks done and try to incorporate it. Maybe you're energized by loud music. Maybe silence is what you crave. Maybe you like to take breaks every 20 minutes. Maybe you need to build in social interaction to keep your mood up. The more you learn about how to keep yourself happily engaged, the more you can accomplish while feeling like you're flowing with excellent timing. This is highly personal, so no one can just give you perfect instructions. You need to stay observant and be willing to try thing for yourself. If you keep doing this, you'll end up with a decent instruction manual on how to make progress to your goals with the least friction and the most ease and enjoyment.
It's normal to run up against conflicts between all of the things that are important to you. Caring about more than one thing just proves that you're human. It's a good idea to take stock at least once a week and make sure that your time is really going toward the things you most care about, and I recommend this too, but the small decisions about what to prioritize above what is the work of being alive. It's all a learning process. If you don't like how things went today, then work on changing your choices tomorrow. If you keep taking action toward your goals, you'll make progress, even if you keep getting interrupted, if you keep reminding yourself what's important and let that inspire you today.